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 The author of critically acclaimed novels, short stories and articles, all dealing in some fashion with the fantastic, the improbable, the impossible.
 A graduate of the writing program at the University of Iowa and of the intensive Clarion Writers Workshop, formerly at Michigan State University, now housed comfortably at UC San Diego. Clarion is a six-week writing program in which approximately 15-20 people are locked in one hermetically sealed area of the university together. They perform various rituals involving computers, manuscripts, pizza, masochism, water-weaponry, sleep-deprivation and harsh self-realization techniques rivaling the very worst of est and Bushite waterboarding. Some of them survive and go on to lead productive lives. A remarkable number of them publish fiction. A rare few are given the opportunity to torture...that is, help another group of writers to develop and publish. I've helped a few now. Really. Ask anyone. They were helped.
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 One of the rotating Fiction Writing Workshop Directors at Swarthmore College, in Swarthmore, PA. (I was going to say "revolving", but I got dizzy.) This undergraduate workshop, limited to Swarthmore students, occurs once a year, and like Clarion the applicants are chosen strictly on the basis of their writing. They are, by the way, terrifyingly good writers.
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 A survivor of many Sycamore Hill Writers Workshops. Created originally in the mid-1980s by John Kessel & Mark Van Name, in and around NC State University, it was taken over in the '90s by authors Gregory Frost, Judith Berman and Richard Butner, and moved to an exotic location in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania. In 2000, them dang Southerners wrested it away again and stuck it up in the mountains of North Carolina. Sycamore Hill has gone from annual to semi-annual and back to annual again, now under the direction of Richard Butner. It's a workshop for published fantasy and science fiction writers. Historically, Sycamore Hill boasts an illustrious participant list, including but not limited to: Connie Willis, Karen Joy Fowler, Jonathan Lethem, Kelly Link, James Patrick Kelly, Harlan Ellison, Michaela Roessner, Robert Frazier, Nancy Kress, Orson Scott Card, and Bruce Sterling (who subsequently dubbed it "The Burn Ward"). Unlike Clarion, the only admitted ritual at Sycamore Hill involves ice cream sandwiches. Just leave it alone, okay?
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 Former member of the Nameless Workshop. Currently a member of the Philadelphia Stories Workshop, which is also known as "Larry." No, I don't know, either.
 An actor in some frightening (not in the scary sense, necessarily, either) low-budget horror and sf films that if you've any sense in your head you will not seek out: S.P Somtow's "The Laughing Dead," and "New Genesis: Twilight of the Dogs." No, really, that's the title.
 A lover of things feline (photo is of Captain Wow--give yourself an additional 15 points if you know the reference).
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